Amber Williams

So, I have officially packed, unpacked, arranged sorted, decorated, re-decorated (and so forth!) the new home!! YAY!! I absolutely LOVE the new house! It's a great size, not too big, not too small and very cozy! I honestly can see us living here for a long time! (As long as the neighbors aren't crazy! Haha!). It's a semi-dettached home with 3 bedrooms 1 full bathroom and one half bathroom. A nice little living room, dining room and kitchen as well as a back yard with a nice little porch! We have neighbors to our right and left, but none behind us, so we shouldn't bug too many people! I think the best thing about this home is that we have really been able to feel like we could settle into it and really make it our "home". Not just a "house" but a "home". I'm just so pleased beyond words! 2nd good news (and perhaps a start to better things to come!) is that I was asked to work a temp job that starts tomorrow morning! I will work with the...

Another year down. Another 365 days of life experiences, ups, downs, tears, laughter and whatever else can be compacted into this little brain of mine! In all honesty, 2012 probably wasn't one of my most favorite years to look back on. There were a lot of trails and frustrations and it has pretty much left me back to starting over again. Not that starting over is a bad thing! BUT I feel like I'm back to square one. Still need to find another job and I've applied for so many already! I've been a bit frustrated about that. Funds are really tight and poor hubby is having to put in a lot of extra time at work, but moving will help a lot! The first couple months of 2013 will be a bit tight, but I can tell you I'm very hopeful for better things! They seem to be looking up anyways! So I am hopeful! I've never been a big massive fan of doing the whole "New Years Resolutions" thing. I've always figured that becoming a better person doesn't just h...

One of the top things I think I am asked over here in England (aside from "why the heck would you choose to come here!?"...It's a smaller town I'm in...) is: "What do you miss the most from back home?" It's a good and fair question I think! I've put quite a bit of thought into this question as well and have come up with the top 5 things I miss about home. Truth is, I've learned to adapt and become content in pretty much any situation. But just because I'm content doesn't mean there isn't a thing or two to be missed about my homeland! So, without further ado, here it is: 5. It's silly, but I'm going to throw it out there. Certain foods and restaurants. You can not get snow crab legs here at all and I ADORE snow crab! You can by King Crab for a ghastly amount and it's not the easiest to come by...But it's no comparison. Same goes for restaurants like Texas Road House. BUT I have a real new found love for Indian food a...

(This is meant to be funny, so just enjoy and laugh without any judgment!) I would officially like to dedicate this entry to a certain brilliant manufacturer. A people so fantastically amazing to know the needs of the very basic human being. The dream givers by which dreams may come...that's right folks, give it up to the people we ALL have come to love at some point in our lives!! THANK YOU VIBRATOR MAKERS!!!! That's right! Without you, there would be many man-less times where the clumsy girl may attempt and fail where you seamlessly prevail with ease! You make it easy, effortless and fun in a single way! Without you, I would have many frustrated times. Without you, I would lose all hope With out you, the multiple orgasm may come rare. So, on the behalf of every woman in the world who ventures out into this solo erotic world, we will hold you near and dear to our hearts and vagina's! THANK YOU!!!

I don't talk about my past eating disorder (and still currently an hard one to keep at bay) a lot because I don't find it to be a really pleasant conversation. Yes, I am healthy now, and look fine now, but it is NEVER a problem that just "goes away" it's always in my head and I have to consciously deal with it on a daily bases and I'm not sure people understand that. It's hard to find peace and love yourself...Anyways, I found this post in my personal diary that I wrote in 2007 and thought it to be good enough to share. But I have to warn there is strong verbal expression (as I am pretty passionate about this subject), I do realize there has been a push to better the social views of eating disorders, but we still have a long way to go. Without further ado: "As I write this I am watching a commercial for Bally Total Fitness. Men and women pinching their bodies (which, though not overly thin, are normal and natural) and complaining about how unattrac...

Life is soo random...there's the invention of life and then the constant re-invention of life...or at least that seems to be the motto of my life! A little consistency in schedule and life would be nice! Someday life will be what I expect (grounded and whole). But till then, maybe sometime soon I'll get a hold of this monkey on my back and rid it indefinitely! How often do you look back on life and realize just how amazing your journey has been? I can't believe how many heartbreaks, tears and pain I lived through but in comparison of all the laughter, friendship and love, it's ALL been more than worth the it! Every year I make 1 New Years resolution to myself (mostly because I can never hold to my new years res'!): "No Regrets". To this day, I feel as though I have live up to that very well. I look at every minute of life (good or bad) as a stepping stone to making me a better person. Instead of seeing my mistakes as a negative, I chose to learn and grow f...

I saw this on Yahoo today and thought I would share as I saw it as motivating! Lately, I have felt this particular pressure (because of summer and swim suit season) to work towards "the perfect body"...Which I know technically doesnt exist. But still, even though I'm considered "thin" I still hate the way I look in a swimming suite and pictures, etc. So, this is a different mind approach for all you...It's refreshing to see a person embrace themselves! So without further ado... "Mad Men" star Christina Hendricks says she's always been proud of her curvier figure. "Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous!" Hendricks, 35, tells the July/August issue of Health. "I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, Oh, I look like a woman. And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, 'cause I loved it!" I hope t...

So, I've decided to write about a particular comment because it's bugging me! (Thus probably proving the comment to be true...but that is besides the point!) The comment was that I tend to over-worry and over-stress the little things and make them bigger issues than what they really are. I don't understand where I have done that though! I have been stressed, I won't lie, BUT ANYONE in my position would be just as stressed and so called "over-reacting" in my position...and I brought this VERY valid point up in our conversation. Let me give you an idea of what I'm facing: Work stress at current job while trying to apply for new job in the UK, while trying to come up with the money to move while trying to pay bills while trying to root through stuff to sell while also trying to give away my dog who I have had for over 5 years and is like my kid....I could literally keep going! Im doing all of this by myself and ALL for the sake of being with the person I real...

"Whenever I want you all I have to do is dream..." Funny the things dreams are made of. Interesting how the mind wanders, vents, releases, explores the inner depths of the mind and inner dwindling desires. For me, It seems to be 1 of 2 different outlets for me: first being Anger and pain, second being desire and longing. Both produce the same results: loneliness. Now don't go thinking that I'm all depressed and need an intervention (although maybe sometimes I do!), it's just that sometimes life knocks you hard in the butt and its difficult to keep up with the constant marathon race. Maybe my reaction isn't the best method of dealing, but I can't seem to help the constant exhaustion no matter how hard I try! I am just ready to hit that next chapter of my life you know? So, let me explain the anger dreams...I don't know why they are coming back, but it has to do with the skank that my ex cheated on me and left me for. I think a lot of the tension i...

November 1st in the year of our lord 2010 I will officially be moving to England! (Under the pretenses that my Brit and I don't have some sort of falling out!) I have already taken the poochie to start her 6 month vaccination and she will have a few more follow up appointments to have a couple other shots. Just one more things to make us more "official" I guess! Ohhh! I'm so excited! I can't wait to move on to this new adventure in my life! It's going to be fun, exciting, confusing, memorable, and best yet, I get to spend time with him . Wonderful, amazing, fantastic him ! Never in my life would I have imagined getting married then getting divorced only to find the most amazing man in the entire world and have the chance to move and have the opportunity to experience not only England, but all of Europe! The ex told me I wouldn't amount to anything and here I am getting to do what I always wanted to do, travel the world! Poor twit...while I'm touring t...

His trip here was perfect...He was perfect....Everything... Perfect !! He ended us being here for 4 1/2 weeks due to the volcano eruption that happened in Iceland (remind me later to buy Iceland a drink and offer my gratitude!). We wined, we dined, we danced, we explored, it was 4 1/2 weeks of new experiences, laughs, and soo many more emotions! I truly enjoyed every minute of him him and now sit in my home sad and lonely because he is gone. (Well, that and because of a nasty sinus infection and cold I seem to have abstracted from someone). I think that this visit was exactly what the both of us needed. We were able to talk about so many different thoughts, ideas, beliefs and goals. Ultimately, I think what it comes down to is that I'm ready for the next chapter of my life and I think he is too. The big decision that was made is that I will be moving to England! That's right! Little me setting out into the big world! It's sorta known at this point. I mean, I've told peo...

Do you hear that? It's the sound of time passing painfully slow ! Anticipation, nervousness, anxiety, excitment, fear....a HUGE mixture of emotions hitting me right now. Why? Because by this time in two weeks he will be here and we will see how things mesh together. Over the internet things are soo SAFE! He can't see all my nasty habits, he can't see my dirty house, my (sometimes) lack of motivation, perhaps even the pathetic-ness of my "Chinese and Gilmore Girls" night. Over the internet there is no pressure to "perform", no pressure to push things to "the next level"...Don't get me wrong! I'm completely excited to see him and I've missed seeing him horribly since Cancun...But I can't help the "what if" fears that seems to make itself right at home on my right shoulder. I know things are going to be good...But what if they arent? What if we can't even get through the first week with each other? What if I'm no...

I didn't realize it's been soo long since my last blog post! So much to tell! So, since my last post, things have progressed interestingly for me! It's amazing how much more life kicks up for a person when they are single...SOOO much different then the "norm humdrum" routine that happens in a married life! I think I'm adapting quiet well thanks to the help of good friends, an AMAZING boyfriend (Yes...I made it official with the Brit...now my facebook guy friends can stop messaging me!), and lots of love from my favorite friend Bunny! (Lol! Kidding...kinda!) Yes, there is some sting still...I will never think of my ex or his mistress with kind intentions, but the positivity is that I rarely ever think about them....No need to! Why you ask?.... 1. My new boyfriend is amazingly attentive! He listens, gives good advice and can lift my spirits in a snap! 2. my man totally SPOILS me! Always telling me how amazing he thinks I am, how beautiful he thinks I am...He bou...

What I should be doing is going and hanging out with friends...the roads suck, I can't stay over night because of stuff going on, and the last thing I need is any trouble driving home tired or drinking, etc. SO, I decided that just this year, I'm going to make my new years about me! Been chilling with a bottle of champaign, T.V. awesome chinese food, my kid, etc. I know it may sound lame to everyone else, but you have no idea how tired I am! I've been working like a freak'n race horse over the last couple days, I've gotta do some penny pinching because I have some expenses that HAVE to be taken care of. Half of me thinks I may regret this, the other half (including my tired, burning eyes!) are telling me that this was the greatest idea EVER! Truely everyone, this isn't me being sad, angry, emotional, or anything depressing. I'm loving life right now...but sometimes, life just gets too crazy and it leaves me physically drained! Work has been off the wall! Ton...

Wow! Can you all believe that we are quickly approaching Christmas and a New Year?! I like the idea of a new year because its an opportunity to sluff off the old and create a new. A new chapter in a life to become a better existance of self. I personally am looking forward to starting over fresh. I'm more than ready to leave 2009 and all it's drama's and sorrows behind and look forward to a potentially brighter future. As always, I contemplate a New Years resolition, and as always, I come up with the idea that I'm going to have no regrets...I think I've been pretty true to this concept and don't see the need to change that, but I've decided this year to go against my better instincts and add another to list: Be open to possibilities with your heart and mind..instead of just the mind and logic...Mind and logic is what got me into my mess to begin with! I think that I tend to let good opportunities go by because I tend to over think the situation. I want my he...

I've decided that I'm completely in love with the new song from Girls Like Boys "Two is Better Than One"...Check out the lyrics...and the song if you haven't heard it... "I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought "Hey, you know, this could be something"' Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing So maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undoneA nd I'm thinking two is better than one, I remember every look upon your face The way you roll your eyes The way you taste You make it hard for breathing 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay I'm finally now believing That maybe it's trueThat I can't live without you And maybe two is better...

So, I think I'm in one of those stages where I feel like if I'm not careful I'm going to make a mess of things...This applies to more than 1 area by the way...work, love, friends, etc. Something weird is in the air and I'm not sure what...I just feel that if I'm not careful, it going to hurt. But then again, that could be me trying to drum up some way to keep life interesting...although, it's interesting enough as is! Been talking to the Brit a LOT like everyday since Cancun! He's coming to visit me in March...which I'm looking forward to a lot, but at the same time it makes me nervous! I haven't found anything wrong with him yet...in fact, at this point he's perfect!...The problem isn't soo much him...but the parents...I KNOW its sad I'm saying this...I'm only 3 years to my 30's and I'm worried about getting my parents "permission" like I'm a little kid...But I'm seeing that they may have an age issue...So h...

So, I've been talking to my Brit pretty much everyday since Cancun...He is absolutely AMAZING! He's sweet, kind, considerate, loves to travel...We think so much alike its scary! I'm pretty well hooked on this one without any doubt. He'll be around for a while! So far the plans are for him to come visit sometime next year...between March and May...I honestly can't wait! (If you can't tell...I'm completely enthralled with him!) He just makes me smile a lot! Right now we mainly talk via this internet video chat (Skype...good program! look it up!) so that makes the work of keeping connected easier because at least I can talk to him, hear his voice AND see him!! I don't know you guys, I haven't been divorced long, but he makes me feel so much emotion! For a while I felt so emotionally numb and he makes me feel alive and I think I could be in love with him! Other sad news, spending Thanksgiving alone...I'm sure my waste line will thank me! Lol! I was...

Okay!! Back in Boise and doing well...figured I shouldn't leave you all hanging! (all two of my fans..ha!) So where was I?...I had just found out that the Brit wasn't with these other girls...that they were just friends. So yeah, we talked for a LONG time! Till like 3:30 in the morning...He said some of the sweetest things ever...I had never had a guy be soo sweet! Thing like "How I took his heart and disappeared" and he's been looking for both since that night...Lol! It was a really good time...The man is an AMAZING kisser! I don't know if it's the accent but WOW! I melted! I suppose it could have been the romantic atmosphere...Ocean, beach, night sky and twinkle lights...But I was smitten! So, yeah...The next day I went on an adventure (all day) with my friends and all I could think of is how I would rather be at the hotel talking and hanging out with him...THEN when we got back to the hotel, I run to my room, pack really quick and then work feverishl...

In reference to the header of this post, the song it amazing by the way! It's a fun song! Just thought it was important enough to be noted... Yes my friends, my dance was tropical this past week, I went to Cancun where I was a whole different me! (Lol! Yet another dimension to my personality!) Believe it or not, this prude can be wildly crazy and fun! Behind this very polished mask is the soul of a care-free, fun and fabulous party girl! And yes...there was PLENTY of dancing. It started off a little weird over the first couple days because it turns out the my once "single" friends decided to attach themselves right before coming to Cancun, and to make matters worse, it was the couples in "puppy love" stage...so basically they were all over each other the whole time...imagine how awkward it was for me...I was consistently the 3rd, 5th, and 7th wheel in our group...Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE the people in the group! (You guys ROCKED!) They were ...