Amber Williams

Just a mere 4 hours of 2010 left and I am full of hope, wonder, excitement and anticipation of what the new year can and will bring. It's amazing the change and transition life has taken in the last year. I NEVER thought in a million years that I would fall in love with a British man, go to England, go to Greece, get engaged in Greece and be set to move over to be with him in 2011! (The sum of my year! LOL!) To boot, I received some rather humorous (or at least humorous to me!) news that has had me smiling all day today (which is horrible that I would gloat because it's just soo mean! But I look at it as "poetic justice"! I can't say what I found out on here, I was sworn to secrecy!) But let's just say that a wish for karma to make it's mark finally happened! ;) What a way to end the year! So, is this a good start to 2011?? I believe it is! (Raising my wine glass) Cheers to a great year of growth, love, adventure, tears, laughter and sweet revenge......

Merry Christmas to everyone!! :) Today is Christmas and though I didn't get to spend it with my hunny and his family like I had hoped, it is nice to be able to spend another year with my parents and sisters as well as my brother and his family who should be here soon! It's been a nice relaxing day with anticipation of some fantastic dinner to come! (Ham, Turkey and all the other famous holiday foods that are bound to make you gain 10lbs!) I haven't heard any word yet from the British Embassy in regards to my visa, but now they are closed until the Wednesday (the 29th) so I don't think I will be in England for New Years either ((POUT!!)) Sooo....Yeah! The waiting continues! Still just trying hard to remain positive! Other news, my wedding dress made it to England! LOL! So at least I don't have to worry about that! But hopefully after these holidays I can still fit into that dress!! Lol! I can't seem to get the numbers to budge, it's maddening really! At...

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! So, STILL nothing from the UK Embassy! I recently joined a site for American's going/in the UK to network together and there's a forum about Visa processing times and it's soo frustrating to see all these people who have applied 3 weeks AFTER I applied for mine and they have theirs while I'm still waiting for me! :( Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that they got their visa, but it just makes me REALLY discouraged and frustrated, etc. It's really hard to explain the feelings and I don't want to sound like I'm whining, but seriously, unless you guys are going through this, you have NO idea what it's like! I'm pretty convinced that I won't be there for Christmas which is hugely disappointing to me. I was really hoping to spend my first Christmas there with the fiancee and his girls and we had all sorts of things we wanted to do together, etc. Ultimately, I...

So, this is my high horse tonight, it's a stupid pedestal to stand on and I realize that and I probably sound like I'm throwing a kid temper-tantrum but this is where I'm at tonight...WHY do we continue to support and "ok" the behaviors of wrong doer's? It's NOT ok!!...and show a LITTLE ounce of loyalty, support and respect to the person who was victim to wrong doer!! What I'm finding out is who my real friends are and who most definitely are not! I never wanted to make people choose between me and my ex...but I didn't think I was expecting much by hoping that the one's who really have nothing to do with him or just even flat out hate him would take a stand for me and say "you know what? I don't need your friendship! You were a horrible person to my friend and I really don't want that kind of person in my life!" I REALLY question people's concept of loyalty...You can't claim to radically stand and speak out on the ...

Today has been a great day! Woke up this morning, made my sisters, mom and I some peppermint mocha espresso's and we ate cinnamon rolls. I got to spend a good amount of time talking to my fiancee on Skype and now we are decorating my parents house for Christmas (I'm waiting for dad and mom to get the lights on the Christmas tree). It's all warm and cozy with hot chocolate and Christmas music and family...It's nice! I've missed that togetherness time...bittersweet though, that's how I feel right now. (I will try not to make this another whiny blog because Lord knows I have enough of those already!) I think it's just that incomplete feeling. I have family around me...I have everyone here I love to spend time with...Except my hunny. I try to be patient and I try not to pout and get frustrated and be moody but it's hard since I thought I would be there already and I want to be there soo badly! So Santa, my only Christmas wish is to be in England with the...

UGHHH!!!! This is torture!! How long must I endure the painful wait?? (Please no comments of it "building character"....I DON'T CARE!!) I'm just very anxious! I thought I would be there by now and I'm finding myself stuck in the land of "what if?"...By this I mean questions that cause me to worry like "What if it got lost in the mail??", "What if they are taking so long because they are going to say no??", "What if it takes many months more to get my approval??"...etc! It's all stressful! I only have so much money to stretch out to a certain point! So, my fear is that I will run out of funding and need to get a temp job to make ends meet and Dave will have to pick up my slack more...*pout!* I don't know if my paperwork is coming via normal snail mail or certified mail, UPS, etc. and my biggest worry is that it gets lost! I have tried to remind myself that I DID receive the letter stating that it would take them 5-1...

So, I haven't had anything going on which has been the reason for no new updating posts, but I have been contemplating things that I want to do before I leave the states and start my new adventure! (Plus, I want something to talk about!!) So one mini-venture I thought I would get started is maybe (and I KNOW this is cliche'!): Losing a few pounds! (I just heard a million sighs and groans! LOL!) I have gained a little in the last couple months because of my food intake and well, I NEED to fit into that wedding dress! So, I'm praying to lose at least 5 pounds in the next 2 months (if not quicker!) and 10-15 by the time we do our honeymoon! SO, wish me luck and I will keep you updated on the progress! (This officially starts tomorrow by the way!) The 2nd idea I had was to start some sort of video blog to post to this as well just for fun or to show surroundings, etc! I was working on the idea tonight, but couldn't figure out how to work my hp mediasmart programs! LOL! ...

At least there has been some progress to moving forward to this next chapter! I found out a few days ago that the British Embassy has gotten my paperwork and they say they will have it processed within the next 5-15 working days. (But my lawyer says they typically move very quick so I should hear something pretty quick...With all hope!) I'm trying not to get my hopes up every day when I check the mail! (Especially since it's waaayyy to early to get anything anyways!) But it's hard because I'm so anxious! Tomorrow morning I have the movers coming to re-pack my items and take to ship off (they needed to be re-packed anyways as I had packed them using clothes and towels as padding, so it would be good to have them packed a little more professionally). Funny enough, the process was insane, it's like I have to push myself on these companies to get them to work with me! LOL! I originally called 4 different companies to get quotes. 3 out of 4 actually responded back, nev...

So I suppose it's a good time to update the "goings on" in my life now that I have a few things to chat about! :D Monday I went and did my biometrics which was just finger printing (in this day and age though it's all through a computer!) Then they took a picture of me and stamped my documents and I was sent on my merry way! (Funny enough, it was a 30 minute drive for a 10 minute appointment, but I'm not complaining! I didn't have to sit in a lobby and wait an hour, I was just able to walk in, do the do and leave!) after my biometrics appointment though I was able to send off the additional paperwork on my side to the British Embassy in L.A. (funny enough!) I expect the paperwork to arrive to them tomorrow sometime. So at this point, we play the wait game with them till they decide whether or not to give the go ahead! I'm told they work pretty quick, so I'm hoping to hear anything in the next 2 weeks! At this point, my travel plans are set for the 27...

I'm soo excited! I think this will make the PERFECT 2 time use wedding dress! :)I tried to upload the picture onto this site, but for some reason it won't! *POUT!* I'll keep working on it! But for now, refer to the link I'm providing! http://www.simplydresses.com/shop/viewitem-PD484473 So I couldn't help myself! You see, David and I have been talking about what we want to do. Well, in order to just make things "official" we have to go to the judge and just do the whole in-court marriage, which is fine because I've already had my whole big wedding with the big dress and ceremony and reception, etc. Not really needing it. So, instead, what we thought is that we would just get married and then throw a "reception" later that everyone could come to (maybe just a big BBQ or something). But then later we want our "Honeymoon" to be in the Maldives (BEAUTIFUL Island by the way!) and do their little wedding package with the two of us (it...

Well it's official! The visa paperwork has been submitted and I have to go in for my "biometrics" (finger printing and pictures taken of me for identity purposes) and then submit some paperwork to the UK Border Agency in California. The lawyers think that it is possible that I should be able to fly to England in 3 weeks! We are pushing for the 25th of November. I REALLY hope it goes that well. I'm afraid of it taking longer though because we are starting to go into Holiday season with Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. Which means more days off and less time to get things done with lots of people...I don't know how many people are trying to LEAVE the U.S. but I assume the work load isn't light. It's amazing how many things start to cross your mind that you have to figure out like: How do I file my taxes this coming April? What about 2012? Paying my student loans? Keeping dual citizenship? Etc. etc. etc! I think I got them all figured out though! ...

I was glancing through my blogs and I realized that I never posted about my trip to England! How could I forget!?! It was only like the the biggest event of the year (so far!) and littered with exciting stories and adventures! BUT being several weeks later, my recounts won't be incredibly amazing in describing the details of the whole trip, so I'll summarize the trip and highlight the best parts! Spent the first 2 days around London with the Brit as my amazing tour guide. Got to see almost EVERYTHING! Big Ben, Parliament, historical parks, rivers, Buckingham Palace and yes! EVEN the soldiers dressed in red with the big fuzzy black caps! It was fantastic! Hand-in-hand he proudly showed me all the sites he thought I would love and beamed at my child-like enthusiasm. After a few days of being in England, we took a special trip over to Rhodes Greece where I got to see more amazing history, castles, temples, and rode a donkey in Lin dos to the Acropolis (and yes, I had "MAMA Mi...

I wanna make you smile, Whenever you're sad. Carry you around when your arthritis is bad. All I wanna do, Is grow old with you. I'll get you medicine, When your tummy aches. Build you a fire if the furnace breaks. Oh it could be so nice, Growin' old with you. I'll miss you, kiss you, Give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you. Even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink. Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink. Oh I could be the man, Who grows old with you. I wanna grow old with you. ~The Wedding Singer You never realize what you really want in life until you think it's been taken away. I'm so grateful for a second chance at life, love and opportunity! I was thinking about the comment I made yesterday about being afraid of being that "old spinster with 20 cats", I never really realized how badly I wanted to grow old with someone. All those sentimental pi...

Left Boise on Monday with a mixture of anger and relief followed up by sadness! The anger and relief was due to work crap and then me leaving the work crap. The sadness was due to having to tell everyone goodbye...especially my best friends! :( I have to remind myself though that this isn't goodbye, this is a "see you later!" So, day 2 has come and gone at my parents home in Washington and I'm now playing the waiting game on my visa application which I feel like is taking FOREVER! It doesn't help that our lawyer lost our paperwork for over a week, and apparently as of today, it still hasn't been submitted! I thought I would be able to relax after leaving work, but this whole ordeal has just been an addition to the whole thing. Eventually I will be able to relax and breath! If everything was going the way it was supposed to go, I would be leaving here on the 20th of November, but I don't know if that's the case anymore! The waiting is killing me though!...

Honesty when you are drunk: By me! deep down feelings a lot easier noted most likely said most likely written it's sad that that it can bring out the most deep down feelings the liquid courage the bravest notion for me to tell you just what I'm feeling exactly what emotion at that very minute or every situation I have an opinion I have an idea I may not be understanding but my hearts in the right place I'm not innocent otherwise I wouldn't be drunk

Today I had to really show how much I loved my friend by letting her go. This was a long time coming and I know ultimately it is what is best for both of us. She deserves someone who can give her more and that is just not me. My dog was amazing. She was loyal, loving, funny, quirky and everything that anyone could ask in a best friend. I'm so grateful for the years of love, loyalty and friendship she gave me. I know it's silly, but you have to understand that for 6 years, she was there when I was alone which gave me security. When I was sad, she would snuggle with me and give me kisses. She rejoiced with me, she played with me, we smiled together and ultimately, we took care of each other. We went through a lot together including my divorce. She wasn't just a pet, so was family. So that being said, I would like to say to my friend starting a new chapter in her life: I hope you understand why I let you go...it was because I loved you enough to give you better. They say ...

Its funny that certain people always thought I would be just a pee on. Well, it's nice for once to see you sweating the bullets! You see, I hate being peed on, but I also know what goes around comes around and with a little bit of hard work and some good karma, all the sudden I don't seem so weak! I love how you think you can play the emotional cards on me such as "Leaving the love of family and close friends!"...What you don't realize is that I don't care...It's not that I don't care about the love of family and close friends mind you, because I do, it's that all my family and friends are completely supportive and excited for me about this, so trying to use them against me is pointless because I already have "their blessings". I've got the love and support from the people I CARE about! It's just that you think I'm impressionable and naive, but what it has come down to is that I say anything just to shut you up! You think your...

So in exactly 2 weeks I will be in England (or at least still on the plane to!) for a trip that I thought would NEVER come! Just like last post, I'm excited, scared, nervous and more! I can't wait to see him...I can't wait for my 2 week break from work! I can't wait to be in his arms...I never in a million years thought I would be in a place to miss the "little things" like a little butt pat, the way a man comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, the look they give you when they think you don't notice...Don't take it for granted...I miss it all! This doesn't sound soo bad right? That's not the hard part! The hard part is the packing, selling, moving, my work (who is being completely obnoxious!) but most of all...My dog. My dog is like my rock, my friend, my safety net! I know it's dumb and I can see the multitudes of people rolling their eyes but stop and think a moment! If managed right, they are therapeutic! They actually even s...

Once in a while I get a little too deep inside my head where the thoughts run wild and free and dangerously. When I say dangerously, I mean it in the sense of how it can emotionally effect me...Good, or bad. The bad tends to bring emotions of fear, anxiety, doubt, and concern. One of the worse games it plays is the "what if" game (I'm sure I've discussed this before). "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I made a mistake?" "What if I just shot myself in the foot?" "What if? What if? What if?!" It's a HORRIBLE game! It brings on so much fear and self-doubt! Ok...So the point of this rant is just because of the general stress I'm feeling over this whole long distance relationship and moving thing. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love him...In fact, I KNOW I have 20 times more of a deep love connection than I ever did my ex-husband. He is EVERYTHING I always wanted and dreamed of in a man. He literally is my def...

So, it's like 3 weeks before my trip to England and Greece with David...5 weeks till I have to be completely moved out of my apartment...Where do I stand and how do I feel? Completely anxious! What if I can't sell everything I need to sale? What if I can't raise the money that needs to be raised to go? What about my dog? UGH!!! I can't help it! I'm completely anxious! I can't sleep due to all the worries consistantly running through my head, but at the same time, I'm anxious and overwhelmed and don't want to do anything but walk away from it! I just can't believe how incredibly hard this all is! My mom is coming into town to help me pack up. I need to call my friend and make sure that I'm still cool to crash with her...I just have soo much to do and I feel like it will never all get done! Don't mind me if I'm a little emotional. I don't mean to be, I just have a lot of thoughts, stress and general emotions coursing through mt veins a ...

There is something in the autumn that is native to my blood- Touch of manner, hint of mood; And my heart is like a rhyme, With the yellow and the purple and the crimson keeping time. The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry Of bugles going by. And my lonely spirit thrills To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills There is something in October sets the Gypsy blood astir; We must rise and follow her, When from every hill of flame She calls and calls each vagabond by name

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

The gentle touch The warmest face The way I feel in your embrace Fingers so passionately entwined The way my heart beats out of time. The perfect fit like puzzle pieces Two become one under God's great heaven's. Whether it be designed will or luck that brought us together. I know that my serendipity is an act of God...because no one could know my heart better.

(This is meant to be funny, so just enjoy and laugh without any judgment!) I would officially like to dedicate this entry to a certain brilliant manufacturer. A people so fantastically amazing to know the needs of the very basic human being. The dream givers by which dreams may come...that's right folks, give it up to the people we ALL have come to love at some point in our lives!! THANK YOU VIBRATOR MAKERS!!!! That's right! Without you, there would be many man-less times where the clumsy girl may attempt and fail where you seamlessly prevail with ease! You make it easy, effortless and fun in a single way! Without you, I would have many frustrated times. Without you, I would lose all hope With out you, the multiple orgasm may come rare. So, on the behalf of every woman in the world who ventures out into this solo erotic world, we will hold you near and dear to our hearts and vagina's! THANK YOU!!!

I don't talk about my past eating disorder (and still currently an hard one to keep at bay) a lot because I don't find it to be a really pleasant conversation. Yes, I am healthy now, and look fine now, but it is NEVER a problem that just "goes away" it's always in my head and I have to consciously deal with it on a daily bases and I'm not sure people understand that. It's hard to find peace and love yourself...Anyways, I found this post in my personal diary that I wrote in 2007 and thought it to be good enough to share. But I have to warn there is strong verbal expression (as I am pretty passionate about this subject), I do realize there has been a push to better the social views of eating disorders, but we still have a long way to go. Without further ado: "As I write this I am watching a commercial for Bally Total Fitness. Men and women pinching their bodies (which, though not overly thin, are normal and natural) and complaining about how unattrac...

Life is soo random...there's the invention of life and then the constant re-invention of life...or at least that seems to be the motto of my life! A little consistency in schedule and life would be nice! Someday life will be what I expect (grounded and whole). But till then, maybe sometime soon I'll get a hold of this monkey on my back and rid it indefinitely! How often do you look back on life and realize just how amazing your journey has been? I can't believe how many heartbreaks, tears and pain I lived through but in comparison of all the laughter, friendship and love, it's ALL been more than worth the it! Every year I make 1 New Years resolution to myself (mostly because I can never hold to my new years res'!): "No Regrets". To this day, I feel as though I have live up to that very well. I look at every minute of life (good or bad) as a stepping stone to making me a better person. Instead of seeing my mistakes as a negative, I chose to learn and grow f...

I saw this on Yahoo today and thought I would share as I saw it as motivating! Lately, I have felt this particular pressure (because of summer and swim suit season) to work towards "the perfect body"...Which I know technically doesnt exist. But still, even though I'm considered "thin" I still hate the way I look in a swimming suite and pictures, etc. So, this is a different mind approach for all you...It's refreshing to see a person embrace themselves! So without further ado... "Mad Men" star Christina Hendricks says she's always been proud of her curvier figure. "Back when I was modeling, the first time I went to Italy I was having cappuccinos every day, and I gained 15 pounds. And I felt gorgeous!" Hendricks, 35, tells the July/August issue of Health. "I would take my clothes off in front of the mirror and be like, Oh, I look like a woman. And I felt beautiful, and I never tried to lose it, 'cause I loved it!" I hope t...

So, I've decided to write about a particular comment because it's bugging me! (Thus probably proving the comment to be true...but that is besides the point!) The comment was that I tend to over-worry and over-stress the little things and make them bigger issues than what they really are. I don't understand where I have done that though! I have been stressed, I won't lie, BUT ANYONE in my position would be just as stressed and so called "over-reacting" in my position...and I brought this VERY valid point up in our conversation. Let me give you an idea of what I'm facing: Work stress at current job while trying to apply for new job in the UK, while trying to come up with the money to move while trying to pay bills while trying to root through stuff to sell while also trying to give away my dog who I have had for over 5 years and is like my kid....I could literally keep going! Im doing all of this by myself and ALL for the sake of being with the person I real...

"Whenever I want you all I have to do is dream..." Funny the things dreams are made of. Interesting how the mind wanders, vents, releases, explores the inner depths of the mind and inner dwindling desires. For me, It seems to be 1 of 2 different outlets for me: first being Anger and pain, second being desire and longing. Both produce the same results: loneliness. Now don't go thinking that I'm all depressed and need an intervention (although maybe sometimes I do!), it's just that sometimes life knocks you hard in the butt and its difficult to keep up with the constant marathon race. Maybe my reaction isn't the best method of dealing, but I can't seem to help the constant exhaustion no matter how hard I try! I am just ready to hit that next chapter of my life you know? So, let me explain the anger dreams...I don't know why they are coming back, but it has to do with the skank that my ex cheated on me and left me for. I think a lot of the tension i...

November 1st in the year of our lord 2010 I will officially be moving to England! (Under the pretenses that my Brit and I don't have some sort of falling out!) I have already taken the poochie to start her 6 month vaccination and she will have a few more follow up appointments to have a couple other shots. Just one more things to make us more "official" I guess! Ohhh! I'm so excited! I can't wait to move on to this new adventure in my life! It's going to be fun, exciting, confusing, memorable, and best yet, I get to spend time with him . Wonderful, amazing, fantastic him ! Never in my life would I have imagined getting married then getting divorced only to find the most amazing man in the entire world and have the chance to move and have the opportunity to experience not only England, but all of Europe! The ex told me I wouldn't amount to anything and here I am getting to do what I always wanted to do, travel the world! Poor twit...while I'm touring t...

His trip here was perfect...He was perfect....Everything... Perfect !! He ended us being here for 4 1/2 weeks due to the volcano eruption that happened in Iceland (remind me later to buy Iceland a drink and offer my gratitude!). We wined, we dined, we danced, we explored, it was 4 1/2 weeks of new experiences, laughs, and soo many more emotions! I truly enjoyed every minute of him him and now sit in my home sad and lonely because he is gone. (Well, that and because of a nasty sinus infection and cold I seem to have abstracted from someone). I think that this visit was exactly what the both of us needed. We were able to talk about so many different thoughts, ideas, beliefs and goals. Ultimately, I think what it comes down to is that I'm ready for the next chapter of my life and I think he is too. The big decision that was made is that I will be moving to England! That's right! Little me setting out into the big world! It's sorta known at this point. I mean, I've told peo...

Do you hear that? It's the sound of time passing painfully slow ! Anticipation, nervousness, anxiety, excitment, fear....a HUGE mixture of emotions hitting me right now. Why? Because by this time in two weeks he will be here and we will see how things mesh together. Over the internet things are soo SAFE! He can't see all my nasty habits, he can't see my dirty house, my (sometimes) lack of motivation, perhaps even the pathetic-ness of my "Chinese and Gilmore Girls" night. Over the internet there is no pressure to "perform", no pressure to push things to "the next level"...Don't get me wrong! I'm completely excited to see him and I've missed seeing him horribly since Cancun...But I can't help the "what if" fears that seems to make itself right at home on my right shoulder. I know things are going to be good...But what if they arent? What if we can't even get through the first week with each other? What if I'm no...

I didn't realize it's been soo long since my last blog post! So much to tell! So, since my last post, things have progressed interestingly for me! It's amazing how much more life kicks up for a person when they are single...SOOO much different then the "norm humdrum" routine that happens in a married life! I think I'm adapting quiet well thanks to the help of good friends, an AMAZING boyfriend (Yes...I made it official with the Brit...now my facebook guy friends can stop messaging me!), and lots of love from my favorite friend Bunny! (Lol! Kidding...kinda!) Yes, there is some sting still...I will never think of my ex or his mistress with kind intentions, but the positivity is that I rarely ever think about them....No need to! Why you ask?.... 1. My new boyfriend is amazingly attentive! He listens, gives good advice and can lift my spirits in a snap! 2. my man totally SPOILS me! Always telling me how amazing he thinks I am, how beautiful he thinks I am...He bou...