Skip to main content

Just a little overwhelming...

So in exactly 2 weeks I will be in England (or at least still on the plane to!) for a trip that I thought would NEVER come! Just like last post, I'm excited, scared, nervous and more! I can't wait to see him...I can't wait for my 2 week break from work! I can't wait to be in his arms...I never in a million years thought I would be in a place to miss the "little things" like a little butt pat, the way a man comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, the look they give you when they think you don't notice...Don't take it for granted...I miss it all!

This doesn't sound soo bad right? That's not the hard part! The hard part is the packing, selling, moving, my work (who is being completely obnoxious!) but most of all...My dog. My dog is like my rock, my friend, my safety net! I know it's dumb and I can see the multitudes of people rolling their eyes but stop and think a moment! If managed right, they are therapeutic! They actually even show statistic saying that dogs lower stress and weight! But that's not the point! The point is through thick and thin, my dog has loyaly been there when no one else was (not that she had a choice) and chose to show me love, kindness and friendship. I'm a good owner, but at this point, I'm not the BEST owner for her...The changes in my circumstances (unpredictable) really forced us into this position and now I'm left wishing my friend a goodbye hoping that the next family will make her last half of life better than what the first one served at.

I have this nagging guilt that says I'm being mean...It hurts me to think that she may confused and hurt and wondering "What did I do wrong? why doesn't she love me anymore?"...It's NOT that at all...It's like that saying "if you love him than let him go..." I'm hoping that this will provide her the life she deserves.

Yes, again, I know this sounds pathetic as it is a dog...But to me, she's more than a dog. there are STRONG emotional ties and securities with her...It's all so overwhelming to do as my world is already so shook up!

To my precious friend...Yes, I loved you more than you will ever know and I will always love you and have you in my heart. It was not your fault, you were always more than enough for me. I pray that you will get in a new owner what you deserve: abundance of love and attention.

With all my unconditional love,
Your sad owner.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Do you think I'm a fool?

Its funny that certain people always thought I would be just a pee on. Well, it's nice for once to see you sweating the bullets! You see, I hate being peed on, but I also know what goes around comes around and with a little bit of hard work and some good karma, all the sudden I don't seem so weak! I love how you think you can play the emotional cards on me such as "Leaving the love of family and close friends!"...What you don't realize is that I don't care...It's not that I don't care about the love of family and close friends mind you, because I do, it's that all my family and friends are completely supportive and excited for me about this, so trying to use them against me is pointless because I already have "their blessings". I've got the love and support from the people I CARE about! It's just that you think I'm impressionable and naive, but what it has come down to is that I say anything just to shut you up! You think your...
Post a Comment
Read more

Facing Fears Head On

We all get scared from time to time. It's not unusual, it's not a feeling only subjected to specific individuals, it can influence anyone. The trick is to admit your scared, figure out why, and face it straight on. I think this is something that I've been facing daily since my divorce (and definitely before but it's been more prominently noticeable since my divorce), back then it was "how will I do this on my own?", "will anyone ever love me or am I even capable of loving someone back?" and maybe the funniest of the bunch: "Am I going to become one of those 'spinsters' with 20 cats?!!?" (I don't even really like cats that much! LOL! I much prefer a dog!) But I think this experience here has been the scariest of all experiences. These are new fears like fitting in, adjusting to the culture, acceptance, being able to work and make a good living, driving, etc. It plays on my mind everyday. I know I can do this, I know that 6 mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

"The Lead of Love"...

"Looking back at the road so far The journey's left it's share of scars. Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight. Looking back it is clear to me, that a man is more than the sum of his deeds, And how you make good of this mess I've made is a profound mystery. Looking back you know you had to bring me through all that I was so afraid of though I questioned the sky now I see why...Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view looking back I see the lead of love Looking back I can finally see how failures bring humility(I'd rather have wisdom and pain) Brings me to my knees (Than be a comfortable old fool)Helps me see my need for thee..." - "The Lead of Love" from Caedmon's Call. I have really been working on putting the pieces of my life back together and I think that one of the things that have been missing in my life is my spiritual growth. It's something I've been thinking and missing for some time now and think that maybe ...
1 comment
Read more