Skip to main content

A Leap of Faith

Once in a while I get a little too deep inside my head where the thoughts run wild and free and dangerously. When I say dangerously, I mean it in the sense of how it can emotionally effect me...Good, or bad. The bad tends to bring emotions of fear, anxiety, doubt, and concern. One of the worse games it plays is the "what if" game (I'm sure I've discussed this before). "What if it doesn't work?" "What if I made a mistake?" "What if I just shot myself in the foot?" "What if? What if? What if?!" It's a HORRIBLE game! It brings on so much fear and self-doubt!

Ok...So the point of this rant is just because of the general stress I'm feeling over this whole long distance relationship and moving thing. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love him...In fact, I KNOW I have 20 times more of a deep love connection than I ever did my ex-husband. He is EVERYTHING I always wanted and dreamed of in a man. He literally is my definition of "perfect"...I'm positive for me, there is no one closer to what I want and need than my boyfriend. But with that is fear...What if he decides that I'm not perfect for him? what if I pack up my small world and travel all the way to him to find that we are not a match? What if I make a mistake? What's funny is that in my heart, I feel at peace about him. I know that everything will work out and still my head wants to play devils-advocate! (Which just so you all know, it won't win...I won't let it this time!)

I spend too much time doing what my head says is safe vs. what my heart knows I REALLY want! I've decided although following my heart makes me extremely vulnerable and has a high probability of getting hurt in some form or another, that I just need to take this leap of faith to see whether or not it will really work. I'm tired of living in fear aren't you guys? Life is just to short!

So, here I am, prepping to take my big leap of faith. It's either going to be the hardest fall of my life, or the most amazing leap ever. Either way, I'll keep you posted and encourage you all to find that fear you have and face it by taking your own leap of faith!

Good luck and happy landing!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you think I'm a fool?

Its funny that certain people always thought I would be just a pee on. Well, it's nice for once to see you sweating the bullets! You see, I hate being peed on, but I also know what goes around comes around and with a little bit of hard work and some good karma, all the sudden I don't seem so weak! I love how you think you can play the emotional cards on me such as "Leaving the love of family and close friends!"...What you don't realize is that I don't care...It's not that I don't care about the love of family and close friends mind you, because I do, it's that all my family and friends are completely supportive and excited for me about this, so trying to use them against me is pointless because I already have "their blessings". I've got the love and support from the people I CARE about! It's just that you think I'm impressionable and naive, but what it has come down to is that I say anything just to shut you up! You think your...

Annual Update!

So I am the queen at updating this blog once a year! I don't mean to neglect, but it's just been so busy for me! Life certainly keeps me on my toes these days! Big events that are worth noting for the past year: -Bought a house! It's a lovely three bedroom detached house that I can call my own, hide in to get away from the world. Decorate any way I want and fill with love! I couldn't be happier here and have really settled in well! -Got a dog! He's a year old now and named Mack. Mack is a gorgeous black lab puppy with the most loving personality and the energy of 20 kids hyped up on sugar! He is the sweetest and most exhausting little guy, but he is my baby! Here is my warning for when you visit: Beware of dog, he does not hold licker well! Haha! I love that he makes me a more active person. I walk him daily and play with him when I would probably otherwise just sit on my backside and watch TV. So he's awesome all around. -I am officially a UK CITIZEN!!! Wh...

Mi Swing Es Tropical...Part 2

Okay!! Back in Boise and doing well...figured I shouldn't leave you all hanging! (all two of my fans..ha!) So where was I?...I had just found out that the Brit wasn't with these other girls...that they were just friends. So yeah, we talked for a LONG time! Till like 3:30 in the morning...He said some of the sweetest things ever...I had never had a guy be soo sweet! Thing like "How I took his heart and disappeared" and he's been looking for both since that night...Lol! It was a really good time...The man is an AMAZING kisser! I don't know if it's the accent but WOW! I melted! I suppose it could have been the romantic atmosphere...Ocean, beach, night sky and twinkle lights...But I was smitten! So, yeah...The next day I went on an adventure (all day) with my friends and all I could think of is how I would rather be at the hotel talking and hanging out with him...THEN when we got back to the hotel, I run to my room, pack really quick and then work feverishl...