So this is my new home, this is my new way of life. Up to today, I've been pretty positive of things, but this morning has me feeling a little out of sorts and I'm not sure why. I think ultimately maybe it's because it just hit me that I'm here. This isn't a dream and this is a reality I'm am going to have to brave up to it. I think I'm also a little more lonely and scared than I was admitting to myself.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not 2nd guessing any choices I've made! I'm glad I made this choice, but I think the "Culture Shock" is finally setting in. I feel grateful that of all places I could move to, at least I have some sort of bearings here. I may not understand everyone and everything, but I understand most people. What I'm finding is that there are adjustments I need to make (as choices aren't as abundant as they are in the U.S. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that American's are down-right SPOILED! You never realize how much you had till it's gone.) Everyone here is very polite, but what I'm finding is that the reception of me is very curious to them (not many American's in my little place of residency). But it's their reactions that I'm not used to (and I will order them in the most to least reactions I get):
1. They all get very quiet and stare at you like you have a third eye in the middle of your forehead
2. They kinda double-take with surprise, then act like like they don't notice that your different
3. They actually get curious and ask you where your accent is from. I would say though that option 1 and 2 are the most competitive reactions, it tends to rotate between the two.
It's so different from how we are in America. If you think about it, we don't bat and eyelash when we hear most cultures because we are so conditioned to having them (except when it comes to some of the ones that we tend to not see a whole lot like European countries such as England, France, Italy, etc. but again, that can be determined by where in the states you live. I'm sure it's nothing new in places like New York and some California areas, etc.) But I know in general, if someone from England comes to America, the reception is generally met a little warmer, excited, flirty and overall just much more jovial than here. When my Brit was state-side visiting, he was definitely the center of attention but completely met with enthusiasm and comments like "I LOVE your accent! Are you British?!" and people who were complete strangers wanted to talk with him and were completely enthralled with him! It's definitely not the same here. I don't want people gushing over me, but I was hoping not to feel alien either.
It's just going to take a little bit of time to adjust. Once I make more friends and work and get used to the vibe of things, it won't be so bad. I'm also having to do a lot of adjusting on my own as my Brit has to work, which takes him away from home Tuesday-Saturday afternoon (He's back home Saturday afternoon or evening till Tuesday early morning). He tells me he feels so guilty about that and I tell him not to. He works so hard to make ends meet and I'm so grateful that he's willing to make sacrifices to keep me here. It will get better and I think he's amazing for being so supportive! Like I said, it will get better. Just need to get more comfortable in my skin here. (And believe it or not, I'm having "shy moments"!! I'm NOT shy!! Sooo weird!)
In closing found this site that talks about the 5 stages of culture shock that I found interesting and wanted to share! (I though it was helpful!) Enjoy!
A model of culture shock
The process of culture shock can be illustrated by a model known as the “W” curve (see diagram on the following page). This model may not relate to your experience or only partially. Sometimes the process is faster or slower. Many people go through different phases of the process of adjustment several times, so parts of the curve in the diagram may repeat themselves. For instance, at significant times such as important family dates or festivals you may feel distressed or lonely, while at other times you feel quite settled. However, many people have reported that this model has reflected something of their experience and they have found it helpful to realize they are not the only ones to have had these feelings. The process can be broken down into 5 stages:
1. The “honeymoon” stage:
When you first arrive in a new culture, differences are intriguing and you may feel excited, stimulated and curious. At this stage you are still protected by the close memory of your home culture.
2. The “distress” stage:
A little later, differences create an impact and you may feel confused, isolated or inadequate as cultural differences intrude and familiar supports (eg family or friends) are not immediately available.
3. “Re-integration” stage:
Next you may reject the differences you encounter. You may feel angry or frustrated, or hostile to the new culture. At this stage you may be conscious mainly of how much you dislike it compared to home. Don’t worry, as this is quite a healthy reaction. You are reconnecting with what you value about yourself and your own culture.
4. “Autonomy” stage:
Differences and similarities are accepted. You may feel relaxed, confident, more like an old hand as you become more familiar with situations and feel well able to cope with new situations based on your growing experience.
5. “Independence” stage
Live, Laugh, Love.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not 2nd guessing any choices I've made! I'm glad I made this choice, but I think the "Culture Shock" is finally setting in. I feel grateful that of all places I could move to, at least I have some sort of bearings here. I may not understand everyone and everything, but I understand most people. What I'm finding is that there are adjustments I need to make (as choices aren't as abundant as they are in the U.S. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that American's are down-right SPOILED! You never realize how much you had till it's gone.) Everyone here is very polite, but what I'm finding is that the reception of me is very curious to them (not many American's in my little place of residency). But it's their reactions that I'm not used to (and I will order them in the most to least reactions I get):
1. They all get very quiet and stare at you like you have a third eye in the middle of your forehead
2. They kinda double-take with surprise, then act like like they don't notice that your different
3. They actually get curious and ask you where your accent is from. I would say though that option 1 and 2 are the most competitive reactions, it tends to rotate between the two.
It's so different from how we are in America. If you think about it, we don't bat and eyelash when we hear most cultures because we are so conditioned to having them (except when it comes to some of the ones that we tend to not see a whole lot like European countries such as England, France, Italy, etc. but again, that can be determined by where in the states you live. I'm sure it's nothing new in places like New York and some California areas, etc.) But I know in general, if someone from England comes to America, the reception is generally met a little warmer, excited, flirty and overall just much more jovial than here. When my Brit was state-side visiting, he was definitely the center of attention but completely met with enthusiasm and comments like "I LOVE your accent! Are you British?!" and people who were complete strangers wanted to talk with him and were completely enthralled with him! It's definitely not the same here. I don't want people gushing over me, but I was hoping not to feel alien either.
It's just going to take a little bit of time to adjust. Once I make more friends and work and get used to the vibe of things, it won't be so bad. I'm also having to do a lot of adjusting on my own as my Brit has to work, which takes him away from home Tuesday-Saturday afternoon (He's back home Saturday afternoon or evening till Tuesday early morning). He tells me he feels so guilty about that and I tell him not to. He works so hard to make ends meet and I'm so grateful that he's willing to make sacrifices to keep me here. It will get better and I think he's amazing for being so supportive! Like I said, it will get better. Just need to get more comfortable in my skin here. (And believe it or not, I'm having "shy moments"!! I'm NOT shy!! Sooo weird!)
In closing found this site that talks about the 5 stages of culture shock that I found interesting and wanted to share! (I though it was helpful!) Enjoy!
A model of culture shock
The process of culture shock can be illustrated by a model known as the “W” curve (see diagram on the following page). This model may not relate to your experience or only partially. Sometimes the process is faster or slower. Many people go through different phases of the process of adjustment several times, so parts of the curve in the diagram may repeat themselves. For instance, at significant times such as important family dates or festivals you may feel distressed or lonely, while at other times you feel quite settled. However, many people have reported that this model has reflected something of their experience and they have found it helpful to realize they are not the only ones to have had these feelings. The process can be broken down into 5 stages:
1. The “honeymoon” stage:
When you first arrive in a new culture, differences are intriguing and you may feel excited, stimulated and curious. At this stage you are still protected by the close memory of your home culture.
2. The “distress” stage:
A little later, differences create an impact and you may feel confused, isolated or inadequate as cultural differences intrude and familiar supports (eg family or friends) are not immediately available.
3. “Re-integration” stage:
Next you may reject the differences you encounter. You may feel angry or frustrated, or hostile to the new culture. At this stage you may be conscious mainly of how much you dislike it compared to home. Don’t worry, as this is quite a healthy reaction. You are reconnecting with what you value about yourself and your own culture.
4. “Autonomy” stage:
Differences and similarities are accepted. You may feel relaxed, confident, more like an old hand as you become more familiar with situations and feel well able to cope with new situations based on your growing experience.
5. “Independence” stage
Live, Laugh, Love.
Comments