Skip to main content

Am I Scared?

"Are you scared?"

This is a question I get frequently from people and I sat with myself tonight and decided to try to be really honest with my feelings. So in simple reply: Yes, I am scared!

You see, it's scary moving so far away from my family, especially because I'm so close to them. It's scary having to learn a new way of life, living, and rules and regulations and new structure of life...etc. I have fears such as "will they like me?", "Will I make friends?", "Will I be successful at work?", Etc. etc. etc. Even dumb things like driving (on the wrong side of the road no less!) stresses me out! Sometimes I wondered if I was crazy and the questions of "what the heck am I doing!?!? Is this crazy?!" Then I sit and look at pictures and notes and texts I've received which then just makes me want to get there and fit in and continue to love life with the one I love...So am I scared, yes.

I may be scared, but I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life! You see, it's not just scary, it's exciting! It's an adventure! I have an opportunity of a lifetime getting to spend my life with someone I love and experiencing the world which is what I always dreamed of doing! As scary as it all seems sometimes, I'm just as anxious to begin it!

You see, I spent a lot of my life making "safe" choices for fear of making mistakes or being uncomfortable. I was always too scared to take chances. After the last couple years of my life, I thought why not take a chance, a leap of faith and step out of the comfort zone a little to see what happens? I did and I absolutely do no regret it! (Neither does my gypsy blood!)

Maybe sometimes the things that scare you most in life are the most rewarding to do...I hope your scary leap of faith proves to be as rewarding as mine!

Live, Laugh, Love.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I am so glad that you are taking this step. Time for you to live, love, and laugh in another part of the world, my friend. I love you!
January 8, 2011 at 8:56 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"The Lead of Love"...

"Looking back at the road so far The journey's left it's share of scars. Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight. Looking back it is clear to me, that a man is more than the sum of his deeds, And how you make good of this mess I've made is a profound mystery. Looking back you know you had to bring me through all that I was so afraid of though I questioned the sky now I see why...Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view looking back I see the lead of love Looking back I can finally see how failures bring humility(I'd rather have wisdom and pain) Brings me to my knees (Than be a comfortable old fool)Helps me see my need for thee..." - "The Lead of Love" from Caedmon's Call. I have really been working on putting the pieces of my life back together and I think that one of the things that have been missing in my life is my spiritual growth. It's something I've been thinking and missing for some time now and think that maybe ...
1 comment
Read more

Facing Fears Head On

We all get scared from time to time. It's not unusual, it's not a feeling only subjected to specific individuals, it can influence anyone. The trick is to admit your scared, figure out why, and face it straight on. I think this is something that I've been facing daily since my divorce (and definitely before but it's been more prominently noticeable since my divorce), back then it was "how will I do this on my own?", "will anyone ever love me or am I even capable of loving someone back?" and maybe the funniest of the bunch: "Am I going to become one of those 'spinsters' with 20 cats?!!?" (I don't even really like cats that much! LOL! I much prefer a dog!) But I think this experience here has been the scariest of all experiences. These are new fears like fitting in, adjusting to the culture, acceptance, being able to work and make a good living, driving, etc. It plays on my mind everyday. I know I can do this, I know that 6 mo...
Post a Comment
Read more

These Small Hours...

"Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders,these twists & turns of fate. Time falls away, but these small hours,These small hours still remain..." I love this song from Rob Thomas, I think it fully embraces one of my favorite things in life: know knowing and appreciating the little things in life. I really feel that a lot of times, it's the small things that can make the biggest impact in one's life, and sadly enough, it's often the things we take for granted the most. When I was in Boise and things felt rough or those "twists and turns of fate" would throw blows at me, I used to drive up to table rock (or area's by that also over-looked the city) when the sun was setting and stars were coming out to think and put things back into perspective. I remember being just in awe of the sight as the sun slowly dipped into the earth and the night city would come alive with the stars making their twinkly appearance above. As I sat the...
Post a Comment
Read more